How to Talk to your Children About Scary World Events – Tips from a Child Therapist

With the weight of all that is occurring in the world, it may feel daunting, overwhelming, or even at times impossible to know how to talk to your children about all that is transpiring.

This may feel even more challenging as you yourself process these events. I encourage you to show yourself compassion and kindness, and know that you are not expected to have all the answers. While events occurring in the world around us may shake our sense of safety, your ability to provide an emotionally safe environment for your children is one of the most powerful

things you can do. The following ideas can help guide you in fostering a supportive, loving, and open environment for discussing scary world events with your children amid the uncertainty.

• Offer stories of hope, kindness, and human goodness along with sharing the bad. Don’t

underestimate how powerful this may be for you as well.

• Don’t assume what your child is thinking or feeling as their internal experience may

surprise you. Provide a safe space that allows for your child to openly share what they’re

experiencing. Welcome your child’s emotions, noticing non-judgmentally what it may

bring up for you as they share.

• Allow your children to ask questions. Be honest about what you don’t know, allowing for

the opportunity to model acceptance of uncertainty. Do keep your answers to questions

developmentally appropriate to your child’s unique needs and nervous system.

• Validate your child’s feelings and listen to their fears. Be cautious not to heighten or feed

into your child’s fears as you spend time validating them.

• Consider how you might engage in these discussions in a way that invites safety. This

may look like paying attention to the environment or activity you’re engaging in during

these discussions. Perhaps you nestle in a cozy room in your house, go on a walk on

your favorite path, play with your child’s favorite stuffed animals, or dribble a soccer ball

back and forth while having these conversations.

• Ensure that you talk about these events when you are regulated. If you find

yourself dysregulated, suggest a break from discussion to do something fun together.

Model the ability to take care of your nervous system through regulation without shame.

• Use emotional energy for action. While these discussions are so important, they also

pave the way for creating the change we want to see. This may look like volunteering,

spending time in your community, writing letters, and helping others.

• Don't use your child as your emotional support. Acknowledge the pain, heaviness, and

weight of what you are experiencing, and know that there is no shame in sharing with

and finding support in friends, family, and community. You can model vulnerability and

healthy expression of emotions to your child without relying on them as your emotional

support.

• Don’t use this as a way to bash people you disagree with to your child and fuel hate.

Stand firm in your values, stand firm in fighting for what’s right, and stand firm in

advocating for others. These tenets, and others, can all be upheld without adding to the

hatred and cruelty that children can unfortunately already be far too often exposed to.

Know that you are not alone. If you would like additional support for yourself, your child, or

another individual in your family, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us to set up a phone

consult or an appointment at 480-815-3211.